Days go by which before we know it turns into years
When I sit alone and mind is calm all my memories come back, some are like flashcards just a photo of a single moment and others are like movies being played over and over.
I think to myself I’ll go for a drive and lose these thoughts because the truth is they bother me more than I’d admit.
Before I know it I find myself towns away and I have no idea where I am but worse I don’t know where I’m going. No matter how far I go or how fast I drive I can’t seem to outrun my thoughts.
I grab my camera and decide to go exploring to lose myself for a while, but then I find myself alone and even among the beauty of nature my thoughts find me once again and I think just keep walking and never look back.
Then I remember I have others that would miss me.
How can I put them through exactly what I’m feeling every day of my life?
I live?
I hurt!
I sleep.
I see her.
I sit alone.
She sits beside me.
I run.
She’s there at the finish line.
I drink.
She only awaits my being sober.
We all have lost someone at some point in our lives that haunts us.
We have to think that no matter what we do they will still be there and that’s not a bad thing.
It may be by death or just a breakup.
But our lives must continue!
We can’t define our lives by our past, but instead, we are defined by what we do with our future lives.
Were we WEAK when we had them? Or were we strong and full of life?
What we do with our lives after them isn’t because of them, it’s on US.
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